Ten Days

Ok so I claimed I was done with blogging, but maybe I'll keep going for a little while longer. 



Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

1.  I miss you and the way our friendship was in high school.  Nights spent over each other house, random trips to the Jersey Shore.  I know you had a baby 8 months ago, but you need to find time for your friends.  Bring the baby with you I'd love to meet her. I always tell myself that the friendship is done with, but I don't want to give up on it yet.  We've been friends for 12(!!) years..that's not something to just throw away because you have a family. 
2. I'm mad that you wouldn't put your studying aside for a few hours to come out with me for my birthday.  If you could go to dinner with me, you could certainly do male revue. They both take around the same amount of time!
3. Leave him!  He beats you.  You need to get out of that relationship.  I know you have two kids with him, but it's all the more reason to do it.  One of these days you or the babies are going to get really hurt.  I may not be friends with you, but I care.
4. I think about you everyday since you've been gone.  Days will turn into years before I know it.  I love you and am so glad I had you in my life for 16 years..even if I did pour ice on your head at the movies..I'm going to visit your family this Summer..it's going to be weird, but please let me know somehow,someway that you're with me
5. You are by far the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I know we fight and say mean things, but I love you...always & forever
6. You're a mean woman.  I wish you were different. I feel bad for not visiting or calling as much but I can't help it.  Last years visit was probably my last.
7. I regret you.
8. You need to move back this way.  I miss having you in my life everyday, but I don't want to live with you.  It'll ruin what we have.
9. Leave her so we can move in.
10. You were the greatest pop around.  Thanks to you I have an addiction for stationary and will check random machines for change.  I cannot believe you've been gone 12 years.  I miss you everyday.  Come visit me or send me a sign that you're around!

Goodbye!

I think I'm giving up writing at Blogger.  I hate writing for "myself" and not a lot of people are interested so I'll probably just  go back to opendiary.com where I've been writing for the last 6 years. I've definitely found a lot of blogs that I like reading so I'll probably keep that up and I will try to keep noting..

Goodbye for now

Gone yet not forgotten,
Although we are apart,
Your spirit lives within me,
Forever in my heart.
Rest in Peace Bri...we'll meet again one day. ♥

Tonight I said goodbye for now to Brian. It was a great turn out and a lovely funeral.

I just can't believe he's really gone. It was over two years since I saw him but we kept in touch til a few months back when he got really sick and stopped texting me. His mom said he used to give her updates on me.

I haven't cried since the day they thought he wouldn't make it through the night. I feel heartless.

I miss him and wish I could of had him in my life just a little longer. (I know he's in a better place but that doesn't make it easier)

I told him tonight while I was kneeling by his casket to give me a sign that he's still around.

Rest in the sweetest peace Brian A. Schantz 10.23.85-01.27.11. It's only goodbye for now...

(sorry for being a bad noter lately)

I love days like this

To get out of the house Mac & I went to KFC and the bank.  Afterwards we came to our local Borders book store for free magazines, wi-fi and some drinks. It's semi-cheap and pretty relaxing (which isn't something we've been able to do much of in the last few weeks).

I'm still sick with an upper respiratory infection, but I hope to be better by the weekend.  I'm starting to feel better and not having to take sudafed as much as I was before.  

Brian's wake & funeral is Saturday.  I'm really not looking forward to going, but he was one of my best friends so I owe it to him to go.  Mac's coming and I think my dad and his wife are going to come with us. As much as I don't like my dad's wife, she was always nice to Brian.  Brian was a Spice Girl lover (he closet in his old room was FILLED with different Spice Girls things),and my step-mom would always bring him stuff from London if they were on a cover of a magazine or whatever.  So that means a lot that they'd both go to it to say goodbye and support me.

I haven't heard any details about the girl from work who passed away.  I'm not sure if I'll go to the funeral.If my whole company goes, I'll go.

I'm praying these are the last two funerals I'll have to go to for a long, long time.

I'm thankful it's February..hopefully it'll be MUCH better than January.

I swear my posts won't always be this negative...

Another rest in peace

Just when I think all the bad news is done with I get more.  

A co-worker of mine passed away last night from a drunk driving accident. I don't know who was the one drinking, but it's still terrible news to hear.

This is the third (and hopefully final) death in a month.  First was macs best friends cousin (not that I knew him but it still affected Mac so I'm counting it), then Brian and now Tiffany.  I guess death really does come in threes.

Brian's wake is Friday from 7-9. I'll be leaving work at 5 to make sure I get there on time.  I think my dad and his wife are also going to come with us. Stella (dads wife) used to bring Brian Spice Girl magazines or other memorabilia pertaining to them. Brian was a closet  Spice girl fanatic lol

Tiffanys death also means I'll have ANOTHER funeral/wake to go to. This sucks...

Rest in Peace Brian (1.27.11) and Tiffany (1.30.11)

Is January done yet???

Thank you!

I just wanted to say Thank You to each & everyone of you that left me a comment on my entries about Brian.  Between here and the other website I write at, I find that you guys tend to care more than some people that I know in real life.

I don't have anything to write about right now, but I will be back soon.

Again..Thank you

xoxo

Rest in Peace

hen somebody dies, a cloud turns into

   an angel, and flies up to tell God

   to put another flower on a pillow.

   A bird gives the message back to

   the world, and sings a silent prayer

   that makes the rain cry. People dis-

   appear, but they never really go away.

   The spirits up there put the sun to

   bed, wake up grass, and spin the

   earth in dizzy circles. Sometimes you

   can see them dancing in a cloud during

   the day-time, when they're supposed

   to be sleeping. They paint the rain-

   bows and also the sunsets and make

   waves splash and tug at the tide.

   They toss shooting stars and listen to

   wishes. And when they sing wind-

   songs, they whisper to us, don't

   miss me too much. The view is nice

   and I'm doing just fine. 

Rest in Peace

Brian Schantz

10.23.85 ~ 01.27.11

Brian passed away about 3 hours ago.